A Conversation with 4DY Builder Sarah Arendell

A Conversation with 4DY Builder Sarah Arendell:
Her quest to discover purpose and meaning

“You have to believe in yourself to do it.”

Mike Lodes  0:01  

Hello, everyone! My name is Mike Lodes, one of the 4DY Builders, with my friend and fellow builder, Sarah Arendell. Sarah started with Edward Jones back in 2009. She has been a great part of our 4DY Builder’s class. She’s going to talk to us today about her story, and how she got started in the firm, before the firm, and the things that kept her from giving herself permission to run her business her way. Then, we discuss how she got around that, after hitting some pretty serious times in her life, and how she has come out of it. She will also tell us what she wants you to do. So with that, Sarah, welcome and great to have you on board with us.

Sarah Arendell  0:54  

Well, thank you, Mike, I really appreciate it. I value being part of the builders group. But even more importantly, I value the 4DY process, just as those of you that are listening to this are going through it now because it was a life changer for me. I value the opportunity to share that with you.

Mike Lodes  1:17  

Perfect, we’re looking forward to it. So, I know your topic is generally “I believe,” and it starts with you helping others. So with that, I’ll turn it over to you and, and tell us your story.

Sarah Arendell  1:30  

Alright. So I joined [the firm]  after 20 years in the finance field. I had been in the home office of a different firm. And it was it was a good job. I did marketing and stock research. And I liked it. But it was quite frankly, just literally an income. And that was it. And then after the acquisitions that happened, I decided I needed to find out what I might like to do. So through some personality tests and such, I decided that being a financial adviser was the way to go. And I joined our firm specifically because I really like our model of being able to be in my own office with my clients. I wanted to have the same clients for the rest of my life because I wanted to build relationships with those people and make a difference in their lives financially, and helping them build goals and watching them, you know, achieve their goals.

Mike Lodes  2:26  

Okay, good. And yeah, I know you from our talks before that it is important to really connecting with them and their lives and how that has helped you to succeed at our firm, even with some walls against you.

Sarah Arendell  2:45  

For sure. So I was always exceeding [what was asked]. I followed the recipe, like they tell you to contact 25 people a day, you know, just trying to talk about [the firm] and retirement planning every chance I got. Proof in the pudding that I was always exceeding except for I was running myself ragged. I remember knocking on doors on holidays and Sundays, you know, just trying to meet clients and talk to people. I was stressed, I couldn’t relax, I gained weight. But one day, I was driving across the [Jefferson Barracks Bridge] which I am sure all you guys can picture that large bridge, two or three lanes going each direction. 

I blacked out. And it was very scary. Luckily for me, I came back to within a few seconds. And so I did not have an accident. But that was a wake up call for me. I was like, wow, I must be under more stress than I have even allowed myself to acknowledge because I feel like you know, there’s times when your body goes, whoa, wait. And so I talked to a doctor and he explained that it was likely a heart condition. And, you know, I never ever expected to have a heart condition because I’d always exercised. I basically thought I was doing pretty much everything right. But sure enough, I had to have a surgery for my heart. And it put me on a quest to find out “what do I really care about?”  Like “what do I believe in, what matters to me? And how do I want my life to go including how do I want my business to go?”

Mike Lodes  4:36  

So, weirdly enough, your passing out was your wake up call? And it helped you recenter what matters and get after it. And so how did you go about that?

Sarah Arendell  4:51  

Well, when I went to the for the 4DY class, I just sat through the different training exercises and such and really put in the time to journal, for example, the love, like, tolerate exercise and the perfect day exercise. And just spending time talking with my BOA about what we think as far as like, how do we want our days to go? Who are our perfect clients? Do we want to hug them? And so that was the beginning of it the time with the BOA and journaling. And ultimately, we came out with how we wanted our business to be run going forward. And I have to admit, when I wrote out my perfect day, I thought, “Well, that’ll never happen.” And now it’s it’s actually happening.

Mike Lodes  5:44  

So I’ll go to did you start this quest? And how long did it take you to be able to get to where you were in charge of your day and health and every thing is as good as you could be?

Sarah Arendell  5:57  

Well, that’s a good point, because it’s not instantaneous. I started the quest three or four years ago, and it would took at least a year, because initially, after we figured out what we wanted to do, then we had to start making it happen. And for us that involves, you know, a partner plan and sharing some assets. It also involves sending some people to the connection center. And of course, we had to communicate with, you know, clients about that. And I have a script for that if any of you are interested, because I know that question comes up a lot. 

But I also had to develop, you know, what our lead measures were and how we were going to accomplish it. And so for us, the lead measures, what we felt like was really important, particularly for me, was that I would get daily meditation and exercise to keep myself on track. And I would also be involved in financial planning and coaching. And with that, I mean, instead of contacting 25 people a day, my shift was moving to having eight meaningful conversations a day and tracking so that I know I’m accomplishing something. So I don’t go home exhausted and don’t really know what I accomplished. 

And then also mentoring other people. So I have three financial advisors that I’m currently mentoring, because they get a lot of joy out of that. So there are some really easy things to track and I don’t I believe in tracking but only a couple of things. I think you can get into overload if you take on too much. So what I track is physical fitness that has to happen every day. And and also coaching sessions, those meaningful client conversations, because I feel like I’m doing that, and truthfully, there’s one more the daily meditation and devotion that has to be done every day. So if I’m doing those things, I know that my life is going in the direction that I want it to be going. 

In addition, I have a cadence of accountability, which is my weekly calls. I have two every week one with the builders, and then one with my 4DY accountability group. And you may say, “Well, what does that look like?” Well, every week we’re discussing topics like we’ve discussed in class, but it’s really just about keeping us on track of living the 4DY lifestyle, which is running your business and your life with intentionality in the way that you want to instead of letting the business run you. And so we talk about those various topics that help us stay on track for that. Additionally, I have talks with my BOA regularly, because she also believes you have to get both FA’s and BOA’s to believe in what you’re doing…so that you’re working together. 

When I read the super nova advisor, there was one quote that stood out to me and it was, “You have to believe in yourself to do it.” And that was by Rob Knapp, the Supernova Advisor Book.

Mike Lodes  8:57  

It is interesting how everybody gets the same book but different things speak to them and I read the book pretty many times and that one isn’t the one that jumped out but now that you said it, I can remember it. You know, so it’s cool that the same thing means different things to each of us which is the whole point of 4DY: giving yourself permission to run your business your way and you are using the 4DX model as we heard very clearly from your talk. Your wildly important goal is how you make that difference in the lives of the people you love. Because you believe in yourself to do it too, which I think is incredible. And I think the daily meditation and exercise is so powerful, but we all say we should do it but we don’t know how. Tell me a little bit about that particular piece. How does the daily meditation part in addition to health, keeping yourself in good condition? How do you keep up with that? 

Sarah Arendell  10:22  

The first thing in the morning, after I get my cup of coffee, I sit down and spend my time reading and in meditation, because if I don’t do it then, if I do not have a set time to do it, I won’t do it. Because after work, I’m tired. Or maybe I’m meeting someone. But I feel like that is one of the keys to keeping me emotionally healthy, is being able to have time that no one bothers me. And it’s just set aside for me to develop my spiritual aspect. I don’t even have to write it down. Because it’s that much of a habit, I do it every day.

Mike Lodes  11:07  

How important would you say, from your level of cadence of accountability? How important is the is the builder’s weekly group to you?

Sarah Arendell  11:19  

it’s very important, because we’re all busy, right. And so I have scratched a lot of things from my life. And in fact, that was one of the things I did after my attendance of the 4DY meeting is that I went through, and I thought about all of my groups, and some of them are very good groups. So I don’t mean to, you know, talk badly of any groups, but I had some different charities and things that, you know, I was on boards even. And the impact that I was making was not significant. 

You know, talking about things like when we’re going to replace bathroom floors, and things like that, it that’s not nearly as important to me as being able to have that for the 4DY group, and the builders group, and even being able to come and talk with all of y’all, because I believe it’s that important that we take care of ourselves mentally, emotionally, and then therefore we can take care of our clients and help them get better, whatever it is they’re trying to achieve. Because if we don’t believe in ourselves, how can we believe in anyone else? Or really help anyone else? Sure, we can go through the motions, but we’re so much more effective when we believe it. So the answer your question, the builder group, for the 4DY group, they are part of what keeps me on track. So they are essential. So even though I scratched other things, I could not scratch those, I could not scratch those conversations. And that’s a priority on my schedule.

Mike Lodes  12:53  

Now, that’s great. Well, of course, I’m in one of your 4DY weekly calls. So I’m quite familiar with that. And it’s interesting, but you’re in another group. And the dynamics between our older 4DY builder group each week compared to that of your relatively newer, I would say veteran level, other accountability group. Any comparison and contrast there? Because a lot of people wonder about, you know, what their accountability group should look like compared to others. And you have that experience.

Sarah Arendell  13:41  

The two groups are quite different. I think that you can tell how long someone has been actively practicing for the why. And so with the builder’s group, I mean, we’ve read so many books, and you guys more than me, and even taken trips, like hiking at the Grand Canyon and things like that. And so you all in the builders group have put a lot of time and energy into everything that we talk about, you know, being emotionally healthy enough, I keep using that. But that’s so important. But also just having control over your emotions, running your business the way you want it to be run. And so we don’t talk about business much. It’s really more about deeper subjects that people oftentimes don’t even ever get around to discussing. So I love the builder’s group for that. 

Now my 4DY accountability group, we’re only you know, a few years into it. So the first year we read a lot of books, and we discussed those, that was really good. Sometimes we’ve gotten off tangent, we had one person in our group that didn’t believe in the 4DY lifestyle and he actually has left our group through his own actions, but you know, it’s just important that your group really tries to keep you all on track with the kinds of subjects that we discuss, so that you have an ability to run your business with intention. And you can live your best life and so can your clients. So every group is different. But I think both groups are so valuable. And that’s why I stay in both.

Mike Lodes  15:20  

Right, right. Well, this is excellent. And I think it’s very clear that you believe in what you’re doing. And you’ve narrowed it down to focus on what matters, you know, and that’s one of the hardest parts I think people have is saying no to too many things is actually saying yes to yourself. And you believe in yourself to do that, like you said, so. What is your ultimate takeaway for this group. And your talk is what? 

Sarah Arendell  15:52  

I really think that each person and their BOAs, probably separately and then together need to take time to think about what do they believe? What is their ultimate goal? Is it money? Or is it helping people? Or is it freedom to spend time with the family? What are the priorities? Because what you do with your time makes a difference in your life. 

Like you just said, Mike to say no to some things mean saying yes to others. And so I really would like each person to think about, you know, is, are the sacrifices that you make worth it for the life that you’re living? What makes your heart happy? What do you truly believe in? And where will you find fulfillment? And so I think the FA, and the BOA should both write down what they believe how they want things to go, going forward. Because that’s the second part, what will you do about what you believe? Like, what kind of sacrifices will you make? Will you do an asset sharing plan? Will you do a couple? Will you only take on clients that fit your ideal client definition? You know, are, you know, some people actually don’t do 4DY? Because they really prefer to just make the ultimate money. 

Although I would argue if you get your ideal clients, you’re freed up to get more of your ideal clients. So in the end, you can make a very good living, it is not about not making money, not about not helping people. It’s about doing it in a way that’s the best for you and your clients. What makes you happy? What brings you joy? So so number two was What will you do about what you believe what what kind of sacrifices will you make? What actions will you take? And number three, you have to dream it. When I was first asked to do the perfect day, I thought there’s no way you know, my love, like, tolerate… there’s no way I’m going to get rid of the clients that I barely tolerate. But if you don’t dream it it won’t happen. So you have to dream it and then write it out. And then share it with your be away and those who are significant in your life. And then you’ll be able to act it out and achieve it.

Mike Lodes  18:03  

Yeah, that’s, that’s wonderful. And I I know that you’re from an accountability, you’re connecting with your BOA on your regular talks to help with dreaming it writing it and sharing it that that’s that’s a great combination. So thank you for that. Thank you for sharing and we appreciate everything you’re doing for us and for 4DY.

Sarah Arendell  18:25  

Thank you, I appreciate being able to talk with you!

 

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